UC-NRLF 


B    3    315 


SONNETS  OF  SORROW 
\\D   TRIUMPH 


BY 


ELLA  WHEELER  WILCOX 


W 


SONNETS  OF  SORROW  AND  TRIUMPH 
ELLA  WHEELER  WILCOX 


SONNETS  of  SORROW 
AND  TRIUMPH 


BY 

ELLA  WHEELER  WILCOX 

AUTHOR  OF  "POEMS  OF  PASSION,"  ETC. 


NEW  YORK 
GEORGE  H.  DORAN  COMPANY 


COPYRIGHT,  1918, 
BY  GEORGE  H.  DORAN  COMPANY 


PRINTED  IN  THE  UNITED  STATES  OF  AMERICA 


PS 

/<? 


IN  MEMORIAM 
R.  M.  W. 


401044 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

A  MAN •       • 

FORECAST 
ONE  OF  US  TWO 15 

THAT  DAY 17 

HOW  WILL  IT  BE? 

THE  LAND  BETWEEN 20 

INTERLUDE    ....       

SONNETS  OF  SORROW 

I  TO  xxii 25-46 

RETROSPECTION 
UNDERSTANDING 49 

TIME  AND  I •       •       •  50 

SEAS,  SHIPS  AND  SHORES     ......  52 

A  PRAYER •       •  56 

A  THRENODY 57 

DRAW  ANCHOR 58 

[viij 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

THE  HILLS  OF  GOD 59 

NEWS  FROM  THE  FRONT        ......  61 

THE  BURNING  GHAT        .......  63 

"HE  WHO  DOETH  ALL  THINGS,  DOETH  ALL 

THINGS  WELL" 64 

TRIUMPHUS  68 


[viii] 


SONNETS  OF  SORROW  AND 
TRIUMPH 


SONNETS   OF   SORROW 
AND  TRIUMPH 


A  MAN 
R.  M.  W. 

METHIXKS  high  forces  were  unloosed  by  God, 
At  your  conception ;  and  from  star  to  star 
The  Unseen  Helpers  of  the  earth-race  trod, 
Bringing  new  light   from  regions   fair  and 

far. 
So  many  human  lives  seem  accident : 

They  do  not  speak  of  any  purposed  plan, 
But    yours — ah!     yours     was     most     divinely 

meant. 

The    Lords    of   Karma    called    to    earth — a 
Man. 

Not  one  to  lead  vast  armies  into  war, 
Not  one  intent  on  any  large  reform, 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

But  one  who  makes  each  day  worth  living  for 
To  those  who  walk  with  him  in  sun  or  storm. 
Could  this  be  said  of  all  who  come  to  birth, 
How  peaceful  and  how  wonderful  were  earth! 


[12] 


FORECAST 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


FORECAST 

ONE  OF  US  TWO 

THE  day  will  dawn  when  one  of  us  shall  hearken 

In  vain  to  hear  a  voice  that  has  grown  dumb. 

And  morns  will  fade,  noons  pale,  and  shadows 

darken, 
While  sad  eyes  watch  for  feet  that  never 

come. 
One  of  us  two  must  sometime  face  existence 

Alone  with  memories  that  but  sharpen  pain. 
And  these  sweet  days  shall  shine  back  in  the 

distance, 
Like  dreams  of  summer  dawns,  in  nights  of 

rain. 

One  of  us  two,  with  tortured  heart  half  broken, 
Shall    read    long-treasured    letters    through 

salt  tears, 

Shall  kiss  with   anguished  lips  each  cherished 
token 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

That  speaks  of  these  love-crowned,  delicious 

years. 
One  of  us  two  shall  find  all  life,  all  beauty, 

All  joy  on  earth,  a  tale  forever  done; 
Shall   know   henceforth   that   life   means    only 

duty, 
O  God !   O  God !  have  pity  on  that  one ! 

May  I2th,  1886. 


[16] 


SONNETS   OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


THAT  DAY 

O  HEART  of  mine,  through  all  these  perfect 

days 

Whether  of  white  Decembers  or  green  Mays, 
There  glides  a  dark  thought  like  a  creeping 

snake, 

Or  like  a  black  thread  which  by  some  mistake 
Life  has  strung  through  the  pearls  of  happy 

years — 
A    thought   which   borders    all   my    joy   with 

tears. 

Some  day,  some  day  or  you  or  I,  alone, 
Must  look  upon  the  scenes  we  two  have  known, 
Must  tread  the  self-same  paths  we  two  have 

trod, 

And  cry  in  vain  to  one  who  is  with  God, 
To  lean  down  from  the  silent  realms  and  say, 
"I  love  you,"  in  the  old  familiar  way. 


SONNETS    OP    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

Some  day,   and  each  day,   beauteous   though 

it  be, 

Brings  closer  that  dread  hour  to  you  or  me. 
Fleet-footed  joy  who  hurries  time  along 
Is  yet  a  secret  foe  who  does  us  wrong. 
Speeding  us  swiftly,  though  he  well  doth  know 
Of  yonder  pathway  where  but  one  may  go. 

Ay,  one  will  go.    To  go  is  sweet,  I  wis, 

Yet  God  must  needs  invent  some  special  bliss 

To  make  his  Paradise  seem  very  dear 

To  one  who  goes,  and  leaves  the  other  here. 

To  sever  souls  so  bound  by  love  and  time 

For  any  one  but  God,  would  be  a  crime. 

Yet  death  will  entertain  his  own,  I  think. 
To  one  who  stays,  life  gives  the  gall  to  drink. 
To  one  who  stays,  or  be  it  you  or  me, 
There  waits  the  Garden  of  Gethsemane. 
Oh,  dark,  inevitable  and  awful  day, 
When  one  of  us  will  go,  and  one  must  stay. 

October  13th,  1898. 
[18] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


HOW  WILL  IT  BE? 

How  will  it  be  when  one  of  us  alone 

Goes  on  that  strange,  last  journey  of  the  soul, 
That    voyage    on    which    no    comradeship    is 

known  ? 

Will  our  dear  sea  sing  in  the  old  sweet  tone, 
Though  one  sits  stricken  where  its  billows 

roll? 
Will  whisperings  of  love  be  backward  blown? 

When  our  united  lives  are  wrenched  apart, 
And  day  no  more  means  sweet  companion 
ship; 
When  fervent  night,  and  lovely  languorous 

dawn, 
Are  only  memories  to  one  sad  heart, 

And  but  in  dreams  fond  kisses  burn  the  lip, 
Dear   God,  how  can  this   same  fair  world 
move  on? 

February  llth,  1903. 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


THE  LAND  BETWEEN 

BETWEEN  the  little  Here  and  larger  Yonder, 
There  is  a  realm  (or  so  one  day  I  read), 
Where    faithful    spirits,    love-enchained,    may 

wander, 
Till  some  remembering  soul  from  earth  has 

fled; 

Then  reunited,  they  go  forth  afar 
From  sphere  to  sphere,  where  wondrous  angels 
are. 

Not  many  spirits  in  that  realm  are  waiting, 
Not  many  pause  upon  its  shores  to  rest ; 

For  only  Love,  intense  and  unabating, 

Can  hold  them  from  the  longer  higher  quest. 

And  after  grief  has  wept  itself  to  sleep, 

Few  hearts  on  earth  their  vital  memories  keep. 

Should  I  pass  on  across  the  mystic  border, 
Let  thy  love  link  me  to  that  pallid  land. 
[20] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

I  would  not  seek  the  heavens  of  finer  order 

Until  thy  barque  had  left  the  coarser  strand. 
How  desolate  such  journey  ings  would  be 
Though  straight  to  Him,  were  they  not  shared 
by  thee! 

Wert  thou  first  called  (dear  God,  how  could 
I  bear  it!) 

I  should  enchain  thee  with  my  love,  I  know. 
Not  great  enough  am  I,  to  free  thy  spirit 

From  all  these  olden  ties,  and  bid  thee  go. 
Nor  would  a  soul  unselfish  as  thine  own 
Forget  so  soon,  and  speed  to  Heaven  alone. 

On  earth  we  find  no  joy  in  ways  diverging; 

How  could  we  find  it  in  the  worlds  unseen? 
I   know   old   memories    in   my   bosom    surging 

Would  keep  thee  waiting  in  that  Land  be 
tween, 

Until,  together,  side  by  side  we  trod 
A  path  of  stars,  in  our  great  search  for  God. 

July  5th,  1907. 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


INTERLUDE 

THE  days  grow  shorter,  the  nights  grow  longer, 
The  headstones  thicken  along  the  way ; 

And  life  grows  sadder  but  love  grows  stronger 
For  those  who  walk  with  us,  day  by  day. 

The    tear    comes    quicker,    the    laugh    comes 
slower, 

The  courage  is  lesser  to  do  and  dare; 
And  the  tide  of  joy  in  the  heart  runs  lower, 

And  seldom  covers  the  reefs  of  care. 

But  all  true  things  in  the  world  seem  truer, 
And  the  better  things  of  the  earth  seem  best ; 

And  friends  are  dearer  as  friends  are  fewer, 
And  love  is  all  as  our  sun  dips  west. 

Then  let  us  clasp  hands  as  we  walk  together, 
And  let  us  speak  softly,  in  love's  sweet  tone ; 

For  no  man  knows,  on  the  morrow,  whether 
We  two  pass  by,  or  but  one  alone. 

November,  1909. 
[**] 


SONNETS  OF  SORROW 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMi'H 

SONNETS  OF  SORROW 
1916 


PRAYING  for  light,  and  praying  all  in  vain, 
Since  not  one  lamp  was  shining  in  God's  tower ; 
Praying  for  strength  to  bear  consuming  pain 
Yet  growing  weaker  with  each  passing  hour; 
Praying  for  hope  the  while  relentless  Fate 
Marked  out  hope's  grave,  and  dug  it  dark  and 

deep, 

My  trembling  lips  at  last  could  formulate 
Only  a  prayer  for  sleep — forgetting  sleep. 

That  plea  was  answered.   From  her  silent  place 
Sleep  came  and  touched  me  with  oblivion : 
Yet  was  that  touch  robbed  of  all  healing  grace: 
For  when  she  rose  up  in  the  awful  dawn 
She  left  but  this  in  answer  to  my  prayer- 
New  strength  to  suffer  with  renewed  despair. 

[05] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


II 

I  know  my  heart  has  always  been  devout, 
And   faith   burned   in   me   like   a   clear  white 

flame. 
There  was  no  room  among  my  thoughts  for 

doubt. 

Though  hopes  were  thwarted  and  though  sor 
rows  came, 

God  seemed  a  living  Presence,  kind  and  just, 
And  ever  near.     Yea,  even  in  great  grief 
When  parents,  friends  and  offspring  turned  to 

dust 
He  stood  beside  me,  refuge  and  relief. 

But  when  one  hideous  night  you  went  away 
Deaf  to  my  cry  and  to  my  pleadings  dumb, 
You  took  God  with  you.    Now  in  vain  I  pray 
And  beg  Him  to  return:    He  does  not  come: 
Nor  has  He  sent  one  Angel  from  his  horde 
To  comfort  me  with  some  convincing  word. 
[26] 


SONNETS    OF    SOREOW    AND    TRIUMPH 


HI 

You  were  so  wonderful  with  quiet  faith; 
Only  the  Saints  and  martyrs  of  the  earth 
Held  such  unalterable  high  thoughts  of  death, 
As  those  which  filled  you  from  your  hour  of 

birth. 

And  when  we  were  together,  many  a  time, 
We  felt  the  Presences  of  Unseen  Guests: 
And  you  saw  visions,  mystical,  sublime, 
When  forth  your  spirit  went  on  astral  quests. 

Yet  at  the  crucial  hour  when  you  were  called 
To  leave  me  here,  there  was  no  sign — no  sign! 
God  surely  saw  me  stricken  and  appalled — 
Surely  He  might  have  eased  such  woe  as  mine. 
Oh !  fling  my  failing  faith  some  bit  of  fuel, 
Lest  God  shall  seem  or  impotent,  or  cruel! 


[27] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


IV 

My  earthly  friends,  however  occupied, 
With  their  own  joys  or  troubles,  came  or  sent 
Some  sympathetic  message !     Each  one  tried 
To  soothe  the  heart  by  sudden  anguish  rent. 
But  from  that  Higher  Realm  where  you  have 

flown 
And  from  that  God  we  worshipped  well  and 

long, 

There  comes  no  signal  that  my  need  is  known — 
No  spirit  whisper  bidding  me  be  strong. 

God  has  so  many  angels,  realm  on  realm 
Of  varying  rank  and  knowledge  and  degree: 
Could  He  not  lend  just  one  to  take  the  helm 
And  guide  through  space  a  spirit-ship  to  me? 
A  thousand  human  hearts  my  grief  has  stirred : 
My  God,  my  Robert,  why  have  you  no  word? 


[«8J 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


You  understood  the  woman  side  of  me; 

My  vanities  you  met  with  smiling  lip ; 

The  fabrics  that  I  wore  you  first  must  see, 

And  pass  upon  them  with  wise  censorship. 

You  loved  things  not  too  sombre  or  too  bright, 

But  tender  toned  with  colours  softly  blent; 

Yet,   when   I   leaned   above   you,   draped   like 

night, 
You  were  unmindful  and  indifferent. 

One  sigh  of  mine,  one  tear  upon  my  face 
Wrenched  your  dear  heart  with  sympathetic 

grief. 

Yet,  when  I  held  you  in  that  last  embrace, 
Torn  with  a  torture  which  found  no  relief, 
You  lay  and  smiled  with  such  a  knowing  air 
Of  mighty  peace  as  if  you  did  not  care. 


[29] 


SONNETS   OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


VI 

My  love,  my  love,  how  often  in  old  days 

I  cried,  "Oh,  I  would  die  for  you,  dear  heart !" 

But  He  who  planned  the  parting  of  our  ways 

Appointed  unto  me  the  harder  part. 

He  cares  not  greatly  for  my  thanks,  I  wis, 

But  in  your  converse  with  Him  (which  must 

be, 

Since  that,  and  only  that,  accounts  for  this 
Astounding  silence  between  you  and  me), 

Say  that  from  out  a  life  all  bruised  and  broken 
In  grief  too  deep  for  tears  to  do  their  share, 
My  prayers  of  gratitude  are  hourly  spoken 
Because  He  saved  you  from  the  cross  I  bear. 
Such  grievous  pain,  such  unrelenting  woe — 
You  never  could  have  borne  it,  dear,  I  know. 


[30] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


vn 

This  thought  I  welcome  only,  of  the  train 
That  drove  joy  from  its  hive  within  my  breast, 
Turned  honey  into  gall,  turned  peace  to  pain 
And  sent  hope  forth  upon  a  bootless  quest. 
This  thought  alone  brings  comfort  to  my  mind, 
And  so  is  bidden  often  to  return, 
And  ease  the  hurts  that  hour  by  hour  I  find 
In  sounds  that  torture  and  in  sights  that  burn. 

Old  airs,  old  scenes,  old  anniversaries 
(Oh,  life  for  us  was  Love's  long  carnival) 
And  I  repeat,  "I  saved  you  this  and  this," 
As  on  each  sword  of  memory  I  fall. 
To  save  you  sorrow  was  my  prayer  alway, 
But  oh,  the  price,  the  price  I  have  to  pay ! 


SONNETS    OF    SOBROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


vin 

At  last  a  dream — at  last  a  dream  of  you! 
Against  the  blank  black  curtain  of  the  night 
I  saw  you  stand.    'Twas  but  a  dream,  I  knew, 
And  yet  my  hungry  eyes  fed  on  the  sight, 
My  aching  arms  embraced  you,  and  I  cried, 
"How  good,  how  good  God  is  to  let  you  come 
And   bridge    the    chasm    that   has    seemed    so 

wide!" 
You  listened  smiling,  but  your  lips  were  dumb. 

And  then  you  vanished.    All  alone  I  stood 
(As  evermore  I  stand,  alone,  apart,) 
Repeating  softly,  "God  was  good,  so  good, 
To  let  me  dream  of  you."    Oh,  ravenous  heart, 
How  pitiful,  how  pitiful  it  seems 
To  feed  such  hunger  with  but  husks  of  dreams ! 


[32] 


SONNETS    OP    SORKOW    AND    TEIUMPU 


IX 

From  land  to  land,  from  coast  to  bloody  coast, 
Our  planet  trembles  with  loud  sounds  of  strife. 
The  seas  are  ravaged  by  a  warring  host, 
The  air  is  filled  with  menaces  to  life. 
Men  talk  of  nothing  but  the  news  of  war ; 
And  with  the  coming  of  each  crimson  dawn 
Come  new  calamities  and  horrors,  for 
Events  are  shaped  by  what  minds  feed  upon. 

As  in  a  nightmare,  we  unheeding  hear 
That  which  awake  would  fill  us  with  affright. 
The  woes  of  earth  fall  dully  on  mine  ear, 
Nor  am  I  moved  by  its  appalling  plight. 
For  all  these  things  seem  trivial  beside 
This  monstrous  fact — one  night  in  May  you 
died. 


[33] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


X 

My  sick  and  suffering  heart  is  newly  stricken 
When   Night   departs   and   Dawn   adjusts   its 

robe. 
As  some  poor  wounded  wretch  might  sink  and 

sicken 

Seeing  the  surgeon  bare  his  shining  probe. 
The  sun  was  loth  this  morning  to  awaken ; 
It  held  its  radiance  back  and  seemed  to  wait 
As  if  it  knew  my  joy  had  all  been  taken 
And  one  long  day  would  fain  abbreviate. 

Then  in  that  little  pause  as  if  from  heaven 
This  message  flashed  authoritative,  brief: 
"What  boundless  wealth  of  love  to  you  was 

given — 
How  vast  the  joy  whose  loss  could  mean  such 

grief!" 

All  through  the  day  with  lifted  brow  I  went 
A  pauper  now,  who  once  was  opulent ! 
[34] 


SONNETS    OF    SOKKOW    AND    TBIUMPH 


XI 

"What  boundless  wealth  of  love!" — the  sen 
tence  stays 

And  lends  wan  lustre  to  each  leaden  hour. 

I  am  as  one  who  in  bleak  autumn  days 

Recalls  the  beauty  of  his  rose-wreathed  bower. 

I  am  as  one  who  in  the  desert  sands 

Must  slake  his  thirst  on  thoughts  of  running 
streams. 

Or  'mid  the  ruins  of  his  palace  stands 

And  reconstructs  it  with  the  stuff  of  dreams. 

That  boundless  wealth  of  ours !     My  own,  my 

own, 

It  could  not  vanish  into  nothingness. 
God    must    have   made   a    strong-box   of   His 

throne, 

And  stored  it  there,  our  future  lives  to  bless. 
Oh,  my  first  words,  when  death  has  set  me  free, 
Will  be  this  cry,  "The  key,  dear  God,  the  key !" 

[35] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


XII 

If,  till  we  met,  no  Maker  had  existed, 
If  life  was  finite  and  man  but  a  clod, 
This  flaming  love  of  ours  has  so  persisted 
Its  very  glory  would  have  made  a  God. 
It  was  too  vast  for  love  of  man  and  woman, 
Too  high  for  earth,  too  mighty  for  the  tomb; 
It  grew  up  over  and  beyond  ways  human, 
And  sought  a  garden  of  perpetual  bloom. 

Long,    long    ago,    we    sensed    that    garden's 

beauty, 

And  talked  together  of  its  pure  delight. 
How  is  it  now  you  feel  no  urge  of  duty, 
To  help  my  straining  vision  gain  its  sight? 
How  is  it  that,  although  I  gaze  and  hark, 
I  find  but  deathly  silence — and  the  dark? 


[36] 


SONNETS    OF    SOEEOW    AND    TEIUMPH 


XIII 

We  scaled  all  heights,  we  probed  all  depths  of 

passion ; 

Soul  spoke  to  soul  and  flesh  thrilled  unto  flesh. 
Our  love  rose  from  the  senses,  lotus  fashion, 
And    bloomed    in    sun-kissed    air    and    waters 

fresh. 
We  sailed  our  ship  through  many   a  stormy 

ocean, 

But  came  to  anchor  in  a  Bay  Serene 
Where  in  an  exaltation  of  devotion 
We   grasped   the   fullness   of  what   love  may 

mean. 

Oh !  Was  it  that  we  two,  again  united 
Debt  free,  throughout  eternity  might  go, 
That  my  crushed  heart  by  separation  blighted 
Was  forced  the  final  sacrifice  to  know? 
God  needs  must  make  new  ecstasies  in  heaven 
To  pay  for  this  last  anguish  He  has  given! 

[37] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


XIV 

Full  many  a  roadway  that  we  trod  was  rough, 
And  we  met  foul  as  well  as  sunny  weather ; 
Yet  not  one  day  did  we  find  long  enough 
Though  three  decades  we  journeyed  on  together. 
Even  when  shadows  on  our  path  were  cast 
And   when   with   care  or  grief  we   were    sad- 
hearted, 

Too  soon  each  sunset  came,  time  fled  too  fast, 
And  the  dear  nights  of  sleep  too  soon  departed. 

Now  all  the  moments  move  with  leaden  feet, 
The  hours  are  weighted  with  their  load  of  sor 
row; 

And  the  once  tender  nights  that  were  so  fleet 
Stare  through  the  dark,  and  dread  the  coming 

morrow. 

And  at  each  laggard  sunset  now  I  say, 
"Nearer  Death's  gate,  thank  God,  by  one  more 
day!" 
[38] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


XV 

Loving  you  so  I  loved  the  world  entire, 
Your  friends,  your  kin,  yea,  all  created  life, 
My  heart  seemed  glowing  with  a  holy  fire 
And  every  thought  with  tenderness  was  rife. 
I  sought  to  lighten  sorrows  and  to  teach 
The  ecstasy  of  life  to  every  being ; 
And  prayed  for  greater  usefulness  to  reach 
And  share  my  insight  with  each  soul  unseeing. 

But  since  you  went  away  from  earth  with  Death 

I  seem  to  have  no  feeling  left  to  give, 

Save   sharp   surprise   toward   all  things   that 

have  breath 
Which  cries  in  wonderment,    "You  live!    You 

live!" 

Ignoble  satisfaction  adds  this  cry, 
"To  all,  to  all  shall  Death  come  by  and  by." 


[39] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


XVI 

Oh,  to  wake  once  again  with  that  old  joy, 
That  consciousness  of  angels  hovering  near! 
Oh,  for  a  shaft  of  light  that  would  destroy 
This  dark  despondency,  this  nameless  fear! 
My  radiant  thoughts  had  never  given  form 
Or  substance  to  those  two  unbidden  things; 
Yet  in  that  night  of  devastating  storm, 
Bat-like    they    came    on    black    and    brooding 
wings. 

My  mind  has  lost  its  optimistic  course 
And  sunk  in  quicksands  of  despair  and  gloom, 
Nor  have  my  wildest  prayers  the  drawing  force 
To  lift  me  back  to  sunlight  and  to  bloom. 
Oh,  Everlasting  Arms,  reach  out,  reach  out, 
Before  I  sink  in  madness,  or  in  doubt ! 


[401 


SONNETS   OF    SOEBOW    AND    TEIUMPH 


XVII 

I  who  have  sung  so  loud  of  God's  great  power, 
I  who  have  loved  Him  with  unswerving  love, 
Cry  vainly  now,  hour  after  torturing  hour, 
And    no    response    comes    from    those    planes 

above. 

I  deemed  myself  a  joyous  instrument 
Finite  in  form  but  infinite  in  scope ; 
In  life's  grand  orchestra  my  tones  were  blent 
Ever  in  strains  of  gratitude  and  hope. 

Now  as  a  harp  all  broken  and  unstrung 

Of  which  the   Heavenly   Flayers   have   grown 

weary 

And  carelessly  upon  the  highway  flung 
Where  vagrant  winds  may  sing  a  miserere, 
I  lie  with  all  the  music  in  me  dumb,  .  .  . 
Oh,  great  Repairer  and  Attuner,  come! 


[41] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


XVIII 

The  wise  ones  tell  me   that  my  heart's  wild 

clamour 

Must  change  to  calm  before  J  feel  you  near. 
While   Pain  beats   on   it    with  its   hob-nailed 

hammer, 

How  can  I  find  the  way  to  quiet,  dear? 
I  sit  down  in  the  silence  praying,  praying, 
"God's    Will   be    done,   but    give   me   help    at 

length." 

I  wait,  but  Pain,  that  mighty  hammer  swaying, 
Deprives  the  silence  of  all  healing  strength. 

Then  when  I  turn  to  action,  swift  and  cruel 
Leaps  Memory  in  my  path  and  bids  me  stand, 
And  challenges  my  bleeding  heart  to  duel, 
Knowing  how  I  must  suffer  at  its  hand. 
Oh,  my  Beloved,  let  this  conflict  cease 
And  show  me  how  to  find  the  path  to  peace. 

[42] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


XIX 

Full  sixteen  thousand  million  souls  are  here 
Upon  the  earth,  and  yet  not  one  or  all 
Can  rouse  my  old-time  pleasure  in  this  sphere 
Or  from  my  shrouded  heart  remove  the  pall. 
But  could  I  see  your  face  or  hear  your  voice 
For  one  brief  moment,  dear,  or  touch  your 

hand 

Then  would  I  wake  to  rapture  and  rejoice 
Though  death  and  devastation  filled  the  land. 

I  knew  I  loved  you;  but  life  made  not  plain 

How  utterly  you  were  my  world  entire 

Until  I  stood  alone  and  tried  in  vain 

To  find  diversion,  interest,  or  desire. 

Bereft  of  you,  I  am  of  all  bereft, 

While  sixteen  thousand  million  souls  are  left. 


[43] 


SONNETS    OP    SOEEOW    AND    TEIUMPH 


XX 

There  always  was  a  longing  in  your  heart 
For  some  large  labour  that  should  aid  man 
kind. 

Dear,  listen  to  me,  let  me  do  my  part 
And  help  you  now  that  wondrous  work  to  find. 
There  is  but  one  great  need  for  all  the  race — 
The  need  of  knowledge  to  uphold  its  faith. 
Then  come,  or  send  some  message  on  through 

space 
That  shall  convince  the  world  there  is  no  death. 

In  all  God's  universe  there  could  not  be 
A  holier  task,  methinks,  for  any  soul. 
Oh,  not  alone  to  ease  the  heart  of  me, 
But  to  give  consolation  to  the  whole 
Sick,  suffering  hordes  of  earth,  stand  not  aloof 
But    cleave    the    silence   with   the   proof — the 
proof! 


SONNETS   OF    SOEEOW    AND    TEIUMPH 


XXI 

So  many  mansions  in  our  Father's  house, 
So  many  paths  that  lead  out  onward  There, 
Perchance  when  first  from  slumber  we  arouse 
We  must  for  longer  journeyings  prepare. 
I  do  recall  a  time  you  went  before 
To  build  a  home  on  earth  for  me  one  day ; 
And  when  you  passrJ  out  through  the  open 

door 
I  did  not  try  to  hinder  or  delay. 

But  I  remember  how  your  messages 
Sped  over  space  and  made  the  dull  hours  glow. 
Is  there  no  way  to  solace  me  in  this 
Increasing  loneliness  that  hurts  me  so — 
This  silence  utter,  awful,  and  profound 
Which  bruises  more  than  any  crash  of  sound? 


[45] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


xxn 

Wild  sorrow  in  my  bosom  has  been  raging — 

Wild  war  has  torn  the  earth  and  stained  the 
water. 

From  homes  of  peace  have  men  gone  forth  en 
gaging 

In  bitter  conflict  and  in  bloody  slaughter. 

Women  have  sent  their  loved  ones  out,  believing 

The  way  was  shown  them  by  God's  pointing 
finger ; 

They  smiled  farewell  and  hid  all  signs  of  griev 
ing, 

And  sped  the  footsteps  that  were  fain  to  linger. 

For  you,  beloved,  to  whom  God  has  beckoned, 
What  have  I  done  to  help  you  find  the  road? 
With  my  own  anguish  only  have  I  reckoned — 
On  your  dear  spirit  have  I  placed  my  load. 
Now  will  I  lift  and  bear  it  to  the  end — 
Unto  your  Father's  place  ascend,  ascend. 
[46] 


RETROSPECTION 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

RETROSPECTION 

UNDERSTANDING 

1917 

THE  snowdrops  and  the  crocuses 

Bloomed  in  the  olden  way : 
The  stately  tulips  followed  on — 

The  pansies  had  their  day; 
The  roses  came — and  yet  the  year 

Brought  neither  June  nor  May. 
And  now  the  tiger  lilies  lift 

Their  freckled  faces  high; 
And  now  the  sun  is  blazing  down 

From  out  a  cloudless  sky — 
And  yet  it  is  not  Summertime, 

Though  Summer  days  drag  by. 

His  dog  looks  up  the  lonely  lane — 
He  knows  the  reason  why. 

[49] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


TIME  AND  I 

TIME  and  I  were  friends  long  gone; 
Though  he  was  my  master 
I  would  say  to  him  each  dawn 
"Faster,  faster,  faster! 
Somewhere  farther  down  the  road 
We  will  find  fair  love's  abode: 
He  is  waiting  me,  I  know — 
Let  us  swifter  go!" 


Love  was  waiting  there  ahead 
In  his  open  door. 
Once  with  him,  to  Time  I  said 
"Slower,  slower,  slower! 
Love  and  I  would  be  content 
If  most  leisurely  you  went." 
But  Time  ever  hastened  so 

He  became  my  foe. 
[50] 


SONNETS    OF    SOREOW    AND    TRIUMPH 

Now  I  hold  Time  dear  once  more 
And  his  favour  curry. 
And  I  cry  out  as  of  yore, 
"Hurry,  hurry,  hurry ! 
Love  has  made  a  new  abode — 
I  would  join  him  down  the  road." 
But  Time  has  grown  old  and  slow 
And  the  days  lag  so. 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


SEAS,  SHIPS  AND  SHORES 

THE  Inlands  of  the  Middle  West 

Are  far  from  sounding  seas; 

And  where  my  early  years  were  spent 

Not  even  running  rivers  lent 

Their  music  to  the  breeze. 

But  there  were  billowing  fields  of  grain 

That  ofttimes  mocked  the  green-hued  main 

When  summer  decked  the  leas. 


Yet  alway  in  those  early  years 
I  felt  a  sweet  unrest; 
And  deep  within  the  heart  of  me 
There  was  a  longing  for  the  sea: 
The  reindeer  in  my  breast 
Seemed  ever  eager  to  set  forth, 
As  reindeers  in  the  snowbound  north 
Make  once  their  briny  quest. 
[52] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

It  must  have  been  the  voice  of  Love 
That  this  strange  longing  stirred: 
For  when  I  found  the  sea  one  day 
It  was  dear  Love  that  led  the  way, 
And  they  became  one  word. 
Love  was  the  sea,  the  sea  was  Love, 
And  all  life's  joy  was  made  thereof, 
When  once  that  voice  I  heard. 

Now  oceans,  islands,  sounds  and  seas 
And  ports  where  vessels  lie, 
And  harbours  where  they  sail  away 
And  surging  billows  decked  in  spray 
Where  wide-winged  sea-gulls  fly, 
And  beaches  where  the  bathers  rove 
All,  all  are  properties  of  Love 
With  their  blue-arching  sky. 

The  glaciers  and  majestic  Alps, 
The  mountains  filled  with  ore, 
The  cities  with  their  mighty  throngs 
Are  yours — but  unto  me  belongs 

[53] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

To  Love  and  me,  each  shore; 
Where  all  the  billows  of  the  world 
By  God's  tremendous  hand  are  hurled 
And  ours  is  all  their  store. 

We  sailed  and  sailed  and  sailed  again 

Our  wonder  seas  of  earth : 

We  sailed  to  every  port  and  clime, 

We  laughed  at  danger  and  at  time, 

And  life  was  full  of  mirth ; 

And  joy  was  in  our  sea-girt  home 

And  when  we  roamed,  joy,  too,  would   roam 

And  bunk  beside  our  berth. 

But  one  May  night  Love  sailed  away 
Across  a  Mystic  Sea : 
I  know  not  why  he  went  alone 
To  some  far  harbour  all  unknown, 
Nor  how  this  thing  could  be 
That  suddenly  he  should  embark 
On  that  strange  vessel  in  the  dark 
Without  one  call  to  me. 
[54] 


SON  M:  IS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

Love  left  me  all  the  seas  of  earth 

And  all  their  cargoed  ships; 

And  memories  within  each  hold 

More  precious  than  a  mine  of  gold. 

But  joy  is  in  eclipse, 

And  must  be,  till  I  too  enroll 

On  that  same  ship,  and  my  freed  soul 

From  out  the  Harbour  slips. 

And  though  all  seas  and  ships  are  mine 

By  right  of  Love  made  so, 

Yet  when  that  Craft  that  came  at  night 

Shall  come  again  for  my  delight 

Is  not  for  me  to  know. 

I  only  know  I  cannot  fail 

To  see  at  last  its  splendid  sail, 

And  leap  on  board,  and  go. 


[55] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


A  PRAYER 

I  KNOW  it  cannot  be  irreverence, 
This  feeling  that  I  have  anent  that  time 
When  with  my  life  work  finished,  I  go  hence, 
Leaving  tLia  low  plane  for  the  upward  climb. 
My    father    God,    and    Christ    my    beauteous 

Brother 

Have  ever  owned  the  deepest  heart  of  me. 
Yet  when  I  journey  on,  there  is  one  other 
I  first  would  meet,  and  clasp,  and  hear,  and  see. 

God  and  His  holy  Son  have  host  on  host 
To  welcome,  and  to  comfort,  and  to  cheer; 
I  think  They  would  not  mind  it,  if  the  most 
Beloved  soul  They  took  from  me,  drew  near 
To  show  the  way.  .  .  .  Lord!   Up  the  golden 

street 
Let  my  love  lead  me  to  Thy  shining  feet. 


[56] 


SONNETS    OF    SOEROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


A  THRENODY 

LOVE  in  the  sweet,  sweet  morning 
Of  life's  long  radiant  June; 
And  two  hearts  beating  together 
In  time  with  the  robin's  tune. 
Love  in  the  splendid  noontide 
Of  glorious  Summer  days ; 
And  two  hearts  growing  together 
In  all  life's  tenderest  ways. 
Love  as  the  sun  slants  westward 
While  the  Autumn  woods  flame  red : 
And  two  hearts  bound  together 
By  a  passion  mixed  with  dread. 

Love  in  the  early  evening 

As  the  Winter  time  draws  near : 

And  one  heart  breaking,  breaking, 

Alone  in  the  shadows  drear. 

Thank  God  that  only  twelve  month* 

Are  in  the  longest  year! 

[57] 


SONNETS    OF    SOEEOW    AND    TRIUMPH 


DRAW  ANCHOR 

So  much  of  beauty  have  I  seen  on  earth, 
So  much  to  marvel  over  and  admire; 
Yet  each  new  sight  but  bred  a  new  desire 
To  stray  still  farther  from  the  quiet  hearth. 
My  hand  in   yours,  we  spanned  our  planet's 

girth; 
From    Alpine    summits,    looked    on    summits 

higher ; 

Saw  fierce  Stromboli  set  the  night  on  fire; 
In  fair  Ceylon,  saw  dawn's  exquisite  birth. 

Now  am  I  stirred  with  mightier  unrest 
For  longer  journeys  than  of  old  I  knew. 
I  would  set  forth  upon  that  final  quest — 
That  Large  Adventure  which  has  come  to  you. 
Somewhere  you  wait  to  show  new  worlds  to  me. 
Pilot!  draw  anchor!  let  my  soul  go  free! 


[58] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


THE  HILLS  OF  GOD 


ALWAYS  your  aims  for  me  were  large  and  high : 
Your  love  was  generous  as  the  love  of  heaven. 
The  best  things  life  could  hold  you  wanted 

given 

Into  my  keeping.    So  sweet  years  went  by, 
While  watchful  angels  seemed  to  hover  nigh, 
And  all  the  blessings  for  which  you  had  striven 
Were  showered  on  me.  Then  the  link  was  riven. 
Was  it  your  own  great  soul  that  bade  joy  die? 

Ever  you  sought  perfection  for  me,  dear, 
And  all  that  makes  for  ultimate  true  gain. 
Perchance  because  your  vision  was  so  clear 
You  understood  that  only  those  attain 
The  Heights  Beyond,  who  walk  through  valleys 

here. 

Was  it  for  this  you  left  me  to  such  pain? 

[59] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


II 

But  oh,  you  did  not,  could  not  comprehend 
How  dark  the  valley  and  how  long  the  road, 
(Since  days  are  years  in  sorrow's  drear  abode) 
Or  else  you  had  gone  nearer  to  the  end 
Before  you  left  me.     Pain,  to  be  our  friend, 
Must  use  a  chastening  hand  but  not  a  goad, 
Nor  wound  us  so  we  cannot  lift  our  load 
Up  the  hard  winding  pathways  that  ascend. 

I  think  you  must  be  startled  and  amazed, 
Seeing  the  blooddrops  where  my  feet  have  trod. 
But  I  think,  too,  your  opened  eyes  have  gazed 
Upon  celestial  summits,  beauteous,  broad, 
And  that  you  know  the  trail  my  soul  has  blazed 
Leads   somehow,   sometime,   to   those   Hills   of 
God. 


[60] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


NEWS  FROM  THE  FRONT 

DETACHED  from  life,  the  women  overseas, 
Wait  only  for  one  thing — news  from  the  front. 
The  olden  joys,  and  worries,  hopes  and  cares, 
Aims  and  ambitions,  which  made  up  their  days 
Are  meaningless  and  empty.     Nothing  seems 
Of  any  import  but  the  waited  word 
From  dear  ones  who  have  heard  the  country's 

call 

And  answered  it,  and  left  vast  loneliness 
And  hunger  of  the  heart  in  silent  homes. 

Bravely  they  do  the  things  that  must  be  done, 
And  make  no  protest;  but,  one  wish  alone 
Fills  all  their  thoughts  bv  day,  their  dreams 
by  night — 

News  from  the  front! 

I,  too,  detached  from  all  that  life  once  meant, 
Perform  my  duties  and  pursue  my  tasks 

[61] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

As  cheerfully  and  as  bravely  as  I  can: 
While  like  dead  leaves  on  bleak  November  winds 
Old  aims,  ambitions,  interests  and  desires, 
Blow  by  me.     One  who  heard  the  call  of  God 
And  answered  it,  left  such  vast  loneliness 
And  hunger  in  my  heart,  that  now  my  life 
Has  room  for  only  one  compelling  wish 
Which  fills  my  thoughts  by  day,  my  dreams  by 
night — 

News  from  the  Front ! 


[62] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


THE  BURNING  GHAT 

ADOWN  the  Ganges,  at  your  side  I  sat 
And  floated,  musing  on  each  scene  and  spot: 
We  heard  the  grim  tale  of  the  Burning  Ghat, 
We   saw   the   place   where    widows    once   were 

brought 

And  living,  cast  upon  the  funeral  pyre. 
We  shuddered  at  the  story.     But,  today 
I  think  it  was  a  kind  and  friendly  fire 
That  took  the  mourners  from  their  grief  away 
A  little  time  of  terror,  and  despair, 
A  few  brief  tortured  moments,  then  release 
From  suffering  and  loneliness  and  tears. 
Oh,  my  Beloved !  Life  gives  me  to  bear 
Perpetual  pyres,  and  flames  that  never  cease ; 
A  Burning  Ghat  of  slowly  dying  years. 


[63] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


"HE  WHO  DOETH  ALL  THINGS,  DOETH 
ALL  THINGS  WELL" 

THESE  the  words  I  chanced  upon 

While  my  heart  seemed  breaking 
With    its    loneliness,    and    loss    of    the    days 

agone — 
Down  upon  the  open  wound,  aching,  aching, 

aching, 
One  by  one  like   balm  they   dropped  with   a 

soothing  spell — 
"He   who   doeth   all   things,   doeth   all   things 

well." 


He  who  fashioned  worlds  from  space, 

He  who  set  in  motion 
All  the  planets,  systems,  suns,  giving  each  its 

place, 

He  whose  thought  conceived  and  flung  forth 
continent  and  ocean — 
[64] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

Gave   the  fragrance  to  the   rose,   shaped  the 

tiniest  shell — 
"He   who  doeth   all   things,  doeth   all   things 

well." 

He  who  gave  me  form  and  breath — 
Gave  me  all  my  pleasure- 
Lord  of  every  Universe,  Lord  of  life  and  death, 
Though  he  gives  me  gall  to  drink  now  in  fullest 

measure, 
Yet  the  bitter  like  the  sweet  from  his  fountain 

fell— 
"He  who   doeth   all   things,   doeth   all   things 

well." 

He  who  let  his  spirit  flow, 

Into  stone  and  jewel, 
Unto  all  things  gave  Himself  (as  above,  be- 

low,) 

Nothing  in  that  Cosmic  Mind  could  be  wrong 
or  cruel: 

[65] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 

Through  earth's  discord  sounds  a  voice  like  a 

silver  bell, 
"He  who   doeth   all   things,   doeth   all   things 

well." 

From  the  mineral  to  the  man 

Out  from  primal  sources, 
Gathering  knowledge  all  the  way  to  complete 

the  Plan, 
Down  from  God,  and  back  to  Him  move  the 

spirit  Forces — 
Shedding  light  along  the  path  every  doubt  to 

quell — 
"He   who   doeth   all   things,   doeth   all   things 

well." 

Grief  and  joy  are  one  to  God 

Who  beholds  tomorrow: 
We  shall  see  it  with  his  eyes  when  the  Way  is 

trod — 

We  shall  understand  the  scheme  of  this  life  of 
sorrow ; 
[66] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    THMMl'H 

Every  voice  that  now  complains  yet  this  truth 

shall  tell, 
"He   who   doeth   all   things,   doeth   all   things 

well." 


[671 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 


TRIUMPHUS 


AT  last,  at  last,  the  message!  definite 
As  dawn,  that  tells  the  night  has  gone  away. 
The  Silence  has  grown  eloquent  with  it — 
The  Silence  that,  late  filled  me  with  dismay, 
So  dumb  it  was.    Triumphant  now  I  sit 
So  near  to  God  and  you  I  need  not  pray 
For  only  prayers  of  thankfulness  were  fit 
For  this  estate  wherein  I  dwell  to-day. 


You  live,  you  love  me !  You  have  heard  my  call 
And  answered  it  in  your  own  way.     The  proof 
So  satisfies  the  soul  of  me,  were  all 
The  hosts  of  earth  henceforth  to  stand  aloof 
Till  I  recanted — my  reply  were  this — 
"One  men  call  dead  has  sent  me  messages" 
[68] 


SONNETS    OF    SORROW    AND    TRIUMPH 
II 

Oh,  my  Beloved !    Through  these  months  like 

years 

I  know  you  might  have  reached  me  sooner  here, 
Had  I  not  blurred  the  trail  by  storms  of  tears ; 
And  yet,  how  could,  how  could  I  help  it,  dear? 
Now  you  have  found  a  way  to  make  God's 

spheres 

Seem  very  intimate  and  very  near. 
And  radiant — my  lonely  path  appears, 
The  light  you  cast  upon  it  is  so  clear. 

I  stand  victorious  at  the  longed-for  goal 
With  open  vision  where  I  once  was  blind, 
And  cry  aloud  to  every  suffering  soul 
"Pray  without  ceasing — seek,  and  ye  shall  find. 
Though  Science  sneer  and  school  and  church 

condemn — 
Your  dead  dwell  near — you  may  commune  with 

them." 

THE  END 

[69] 


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